I realize that learning more about who I am and what I really want on my life is not going to just happen all of the sudden. Wouldn't it be nice though - if all of the sudden I'm walking along the street and suddenly something clicks in my head and I am aware of my purpose in this life. I know what will make me happy and what steps I need to take to get there. That's too easy.
I've been thinking about this for a couple days, and I have realized that what I'm trying to figure out is going to take some time. Time is one of those commodities that I have little of, for myself at least. I always seem to have time for my kids and Mr. T - but what about me. I don't count running errands and driving to and from work as 'me' time since I'm doing that because I have to. No, what I mean is real time that I can do whatever I want with.
So I've decided that no matter what, I will set aside 30 minutes a day just for me. I won't use the time to talk to Mr. T, clean up after the kids, cook, grocery shop, etc. I will just do something for me, with me.
I definitely have taken some time here and there for myself. Maybe once or twice this year I took an hour or two for myself. Never have I dedicated this much time to myself. I'm a little nervous, I mean what am I going to do with myself everyday.
I think I will start out simple. I have a stack of magazines that I've been wanting to read. Not exactly Moby Dick, but it's just for me. I'm not sure where this will take me, but it's a start.
I really feel aware of the fact that at some point my kids will be leaving the house and going out on their own (even though that's at least 17 years away for the youngest), and I really don't want to regret this time. I don't want to look back and say "I neglected myself, I put everyone first all the time". I want to be happy with all of my life, all of my choices. Taking care of my family is important, but so am I.